Breaking Scientific News: You Actually Can Just Nap Instead of Fixing Your Life

MJ Wynn
Apr 1
3 min read

Updated: May 25

🌟 BABES, hold onto your emotional support water bottles because science is finally validating what our collectively burned-out souls have been SCREAMING: you don't need a whole personality transplant to feel better - sometimes you just need to catch some z's.

gasp ✨

I know, I know. Revolutionary, right? 😌 After we've all spent years filling up journals with manifestations that gave us hand cramps, and tried meditation apps that just reminded us how loud our thoughts are, these absolute queens at the Institute of Overcomplicated Life Solutions (IOLS) really said "bestie, just take a nap." And honestly? Tea. ☕

"Listen fam," says Dr. Olivia Recline (iconic name, btw 💅), "We've been out here thinking we need to girlboss our way through life, downloading every productivity app known to humankind, and setting alarms at criminally early hours to journal about ~gratitude~. But plot twist: maybe you're just tired??" 😴

So here's the tea: these scientists took a bunch of people who were like "my life is a dumpster fire" and split them into two groups. Group A got handed this absolutely unhinged 50-step plan to "fix themselves" (red flag behavior tbh 🚩), including stuff like quitting coffee (the audacity), starting a side hustle (in this economy??), and practicing mindfulness while actively panicking.

Group B? They just got to nap. That's it. That's the assignment. 💤

The results will shock absolutely no one who's ever taken an accidental 3-hour nap and woken up feeling like a goddess: the nappers felt 78% better, while the "fix yourself" group was out here having existential crises about their existential crises. 😩

"Y'all," Dr. Recline said, serving facts, "being exhausted isn't a personality trait, it's literally just being tired." She really said we need less self-improvement and more self-preservation via blanket burrito moments. 🌯✨

The Girlboss Industrial Complex is SHAKING 😤

This tea is scalding the entire self-improvement industry, which has been gaslight-gatekeep-girlbossing us into thinking if we're not grinding 24/7, we're basically failing at existing. The experts are clutching their crystal-infused pearls, warning that if people start choosing naps over "life hacks," we might see a dramatic drop in sales of planners that cost more than our therapy copay. 📝

"It's giving economic crisis," whined Hugh Grind, CEO of Wake & Hustle Inc., whose company sells alarm clocks that literally cyberbully you at 4:30 AM with "RISE AND GRIND OR DIE TRYING" messages. "If people realize they don't have to optimize their every breath, what will we do with all these toxic productivity products?" Cry about it, bestie. 😢

But Wait... The Tea Gets Hotter ☕

As if this wasn't already giving main character energy, the researchers dropped these additional truth bombs:

✨ That headache? Bestie, maybe try water before WebMD convinces you it's a rare medieval disease
📱 Those emails can literally wait. You're not a trauma surgeon, you're a marketing coordinator named Brad
🎉 New Year New Me? How about Same Me But With Better Boundaries
🎨 Plot twist: hobbies don't need to make you money. You can just... enjoy things?? Revolutionary concept

The girlies in lab coats are predicting a future where people might actually gasp prioritize rest over hustle culture, set boundaries without writing a 12-page apology essay, and accept that maybe life doesn't need to feel like a constant uphill battle in stilettos. 👠

So babes, this is your sign to close that LinkedIn tab, put your phone on Do Not Disturb (the group chat will survive), and get that nap in. The grind can wait. 😴✨

Unless you work in customer service. In that case... here's your emotional support coffee ☕ and we're manifesting better days ahead 🙏

Remember babes, while everyone's out here grinding, science says all you need is a good nap. Let them keep their toxic productivity alarms - we're choosing rest over hustle. Sweet dreams! 😴

🌷 Signed, MJ