Finding Myself in 2024: A Journey

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Picture this: It's the dawn of 2025, and I'm curled up in my favorite reading nook, a steaming cup of tea in hand, reflecting on a year that transformed me in ways I never imagined. You know those moments in life that feel like earthquakes? The ones that shake your foundation so completely that you're forced to rebuild from the ground up?

That's where my story begins.

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It began back in spring 2023. It arrived like a storm without warning. In a twist I never saw coming, my ex-husband and ex-best friend – the people I thought would be my forever constants – vanished from my life without a trace. No goodbye, no explanation, just... silence. The kind of silence that echoes in your bones and forces you to face every truth you've been running from.

Those first few months? Pure devastation. I'm talking mascara-stained pillowcases and 3 AM anxiety spirals. The betrayal cut deeper than any knife – not just because they left, but because they denied me even the basic dignity of closure. I became a detective in my own life, forensically analyzing every shared laugh, every casual touch, searching for the warning signs I must have missed. My identity had been so interwoven with theirs that their absence left me wondering if I was even real without them.

But here's where the plot twists: sometimes, rock bottom becomes your greatest teacher.

As the seasons changed, so did I.

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That deafening silence? It became my meditation room, my space to finally hear my own voice. I started to understand that their ghosting wasn't my story to carry – it was their inability to honor the light in someone else. Like a phoenix (cliché, I know, but stick with me), I began rebuilding myself, not to prove my worth to them, but to finally recognize it myself.

Through this process, I unearthed buried treasure: my authentic self-worth.

I learned to stop accepting emotional breadcrumbs when I deserved the whole damn bakery.

Setting boundaries became my superpower, and walking away from people who couldn't respect them became my act of self-love. Their disappearance, as painful as it was, turned out to be the universe's most brutal but necessary gift – it stripped away the layers of pre-tense until all that remained was my truth.

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And speaking of truth? Here's the biggest one I discovered: I'd been living in a carefully constructed costume, wearing "bisexual" like a safety blanket that kept everyone else comfortable while slowly suffocating me. Deep down, in the quiet moments when I was truly honest with myself, I knew this wasn't my full story. The truth that had been patiently waiting in the wings? I'm a lesbian. Full stop. No asterisks needed.

Coming out to myself in 2024 wasn't a lightning bolt moment – it was more like dawn breaking after the longest night. It meant peeling off years of societal expectations and internalized fears, letting go of the version of me that felt safe but incomplete. But once that final piece clicked into place? Everything made sense. I stopped apologizing for taking up space, stopped dimming my light to make others comfortable. And in that authenticity, I found something magical.

Enter the plot twist I never saw coming:

There was someone who had been quietly cheering me on from the sidelines all along.

Someone whose support never came with conditions, whose presence felt like sunshine after rain. As I found myself, I found her too – or rather, I finally saw what had been right in front of me. Loving her isn't just falling in love; it's remembering who I am. It's the kind of love that doesn't ask you to shrink or change; it's the love that says "finally, you're here" and means it with every fiber of its being.

This journey of self-discovery sparked a creative renaissance too. My blog, GirlyStonerPop, has evolved into this beautiful digital garden where I can be unapologetically myself – mixing chill vibes with deep thoughts, pop culture with personal growth. It's become this amazing space where authenticity meets creativity, and watching it grow has been like watching my own transformation reflected back at me. I've been pouring love into giving it a fresh face for 2025, making sure every pixel reflects this new chapter.

The podcast has become heart-to-heart with kindred spirits, where I blend storytelling with soul-searching, and sprinkle in some stoner wisdom for good measure. Each episode feels like sitting down with friends, sharing the real, raw, beautiful mess of life. Seeing our community grow? It's like watching a garden bloom in real-time.

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And then there's my secret passion project – my book.

Writing it feels like finally telling the story I've always needed to read.

It's a contemporary romance that digs deep into the complexities of love, identity, and finding yourself in the midst of chaos. Every word I write feels like setting free a truth I've held inside for too long.

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As 2025 beckons, I'm filled with this overwhelming sense of gratitude – for the heartbreak that broke me open, for the love that helped me heal, for every step of this messy, beautiful journey.

To my ex-husband and ex-best friend: thank you. Your absence created the space for me to become who I was always meant to be.

Looking ahead, my goals are crystal clear: nurture my blog and podcast into the safe havens they're meant to be, pour my heart into finishing this book, and continue building a life that feels true to who I am. But beyond these tangible goals, I'm stepping into 2025 with my heart wide open, ready for whatever magic awaits.

So, beautiful souls, I'm curious – how did 2024 treat you? What storms weathered you, what dreams lifted you, and what are you manifesting for the year ahead? Let's share our stories, our hopes, our fears. As we step into 2025 together, let's embrace the unknown with brave hearts and gentle spirits. Here's to growth, to love, and to all the beautiful chaos that makes life worth living. 🌿✨✨

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🌷  Signed, MJ