Growing Pains: Embracing Change When Everyone Else Stays the Same

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There’s this assumption that everyone’s out here trying to be a better version of themselves—hustling, grinding, leveling up. We’re surrounded by self-help books, motivational speakers, and endless “life hack” reels that basically scream, *"Be better, or you’re wasting time!"* But let’s get real for a second: not everyone wants to grow. Some people are totally cool where they are, and honestly, they’re perfectly happy staying in their comfort zone. And sometimes, they don’t mind keeping you there too.

We tend to project our own desires for growth onto others, assuming everyone wants the same things.

But growth is uncomfortable, messy, and unpredictable.

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There are people who’ve found their little spot in life where things are stable and safe, and that’s enough for them. And you know what? That’s okay. Change isn’t for everyone. Growth can be hard, even scary, and for a lot of people, comfort feels way better than the risks that come with stepping out of their zone.

Where things get tricky is when you’re on your own path to growth, and suddenly you feel this weight—this invisible tug—from someone who’s perfectly fine staying put. It might be a friend who isn’t interested in evolving, or a partner who’s happy with the routine, while you’re over here trying to explore new opportunities or chase bigger dreams. They might not even realize they’re doing it, but they can end up pulling you back into that comfort zone with them.

It’s not like they’re being malicious. Sometimes, it comes from a place of care, like when they say, "Don’t push yourself too hard," or, "Are you sure you want to risk that?" It’s their way of protecting you (and themselves) from the unknown, because growth brings uncertainty, and that can be terrifying for someone who thrives on predictability. By keeping things the same, they feel safe. And if you stay with them in that comfort zone, it reinforces their decision to avoid change.

But here’s the thing: just because someone else is comfortable doesn’t mean you have to be.

Growth isn’t a universal experience—some of us crave it, while others are good with sticking to what they know. And that’s fine, but if you’re someone who *wants* to grow, staying in the same place can start to feel suffocating. And let’s be real, we all know that person who gets weird when you start changing, as if your growth is a threat to their stability.

This is where boundaries are key. You can respect someone’s choice to stay where they are without letting them pull you back. It’s not about cutting people off or feeling guilty for evolving; it’s about recognizing that everyone’s on their own journey, and sometimes, that means going in different directions. If you find yourself constantly getting dragged back into someone else’s comfort zone, you might need to reassess that relationship. It could be a matter of communicating your needs, or maybe it’s realizing that not everyone is meant to go with you on your path.

Growth is a choice, and not everyone’s gonna make it.

Some people will always choose comfort, and that’s their right. But if you’re someone who wants more, who feels like there’s a bigger, better version of yourself waiting to be discovered, you can’t let someone else’s comfort trap you. It’s okay to outgrow people, routines, and situations. It’s okay to want more, even if those around you don’t.

At the end of the day, you have to do what’s right for you. So take up space, push past the comfort, and keep moving toward the life you want—whether anyone else joins you or not.

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🌷  Signed, MJ