Stoner's TV Guide: Your Must-Watch Lineupđđş
- MJ Wynn
- Feb 17
- 9 min read
Updated: May 25
Heyyyy queens and queenies! đŤ
Let me set the scene for your perfect cozy night in: You're living your best life, wrapped in that cloud-soft fuzzy blanket (you know, the $50 one from Target that changed your whole existence), your hair's styled in that effortlessly messy "I woke up like this" bun (but we know it took 20 minutes to get it just right), and your favorite herbal companion is ready to take this viewing experience to the next level. â¨
Today's mission? We're diving DEEP into the shows that are about to become your ride-or-die comfort watches. I'm talking about the kind of shows that hit different when you're in your zone - the ones that make you text your bestie at 3 AM like "GIRL, YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS!" Whether you're embracing that main character energy solo (we love an independent queen! đ) or hosting the ultimate smoke sesh with your soul sisters, I've carefully curated this list with enough sparkle and spice to keep you GLUED to that screen.
Before we dive in, let's set ourselves up for success! Grab that snack stash you've been hiding from your roomie (I'm talking the perfect sweet-salty combo - those dark chocolate covered pretzels? ESSENTIAL. Those hot Cheetos? MANDATORY. That weird Japanese candy you impulse-bought? BRING IT ALL!) Because trust me babes, we're about to make some streaming MAGIC happen! Get ready to screenshot this whole thing because your watchlist is about to get a major glow-up! â¨đŹ
1. Bob's Burgers â Comfort Food for the Soul
đđ
Prepare your taste buds for peak comfort chaos! The Belcher family is serving up the most deliciously chaotic energy and I am LIVING for it!
Like, between Linda's wine mom energy (her "alright!" is literally my new emotional support sound), Gene's keyboard shenanigans that are giving unhinged musical prodigy, and Louise's chaotic evil genius that has me taking NOTES - this show is a whole MOOD!
And don't even get me started on Tina's horse girl/zombie-loving/boy-crazy era because honey? That's literally all of us writing fanfic in our diaries at 13! The way she makes awkwardness look iconic? We have no choice but to stan! đ
Plus, Bob's dedication to his craft? The way he names his burgers with the most unhinged puns? Your local gastropub could NEVER!
And the animation style? It's giving cozy vibes but make it fashion!
The side characters? ICONIC. Jimmy Pesto's toxic rivalry? Mr. Calvin Fischoeder's unhinged rich person energy? Regular-Sized Rudy's wholesome besties arc? I'm absolutely deceased! đâ¨
The Vibe: It's giving "wrapped in your softest blanket while your chaotic found family feeds you comfort food and validates your weird dreams" energy! Like a warm hug from that one friend who always has snacks in their bag and random songs stuck in their head! Pure cozy core with a side of unhinged excellence! đ¤
Best Paired With: That giggly hybrid that has you cackling at every single pun and writing down burger recipes at 3 AM! The kind that makes you want to text your group chat about starting a restaurant but make it vibes! Pro tip: Keep your DoorDash app READY because those burger cravings will hit different! đâ¨
Where to Watch:Â Hulu (Your bestie's password is still good, right? And if not, this show alone is worth securing that subscription, no cap! Plus, you can binge-watch while doing your skincare routine! đ )
2. Bluey â More Than Just a Kid's Show, Trust Me
đžđ
Hold onto your emotional support water bottles, queens! đ
MJ, isn't Bluey for kids? Honey, this show is serving emotional intelligence for ALL ages!
This precious Aussie pup has become everyone's therapy dog, with a mind-blowing 55.62 billion minutes streamed last year. Like, that's not just a moment, that's a whole MOVEMENT! Each episode is literally a serotonin boost wrapped in the cutest animation you've ever seen. Plus, the way they tackle real-life situations? ICONIC. From dealing with jealousy to learning patience, this show will have you crying happy tears one minute and cackling the next!
The parents, Bandit and Chilli? Total parenting goals! The way they balance work and play while keeping it real? Pinterest could never! And the sisters' relationship?
It's giving unproblematic sibling goals that we didn't know we needed! đâ¨
The Vibe:Â Pure wholesomeness with a side of unexpected wisdom. It's giving main character energy when you need to heal your inner child or escape the chaos of your FYP. Perfect for those days when you need to remember that the world isn't all bad vibes and drama. đ
Best Paired With: A dreamy Sativa that'll have you floating on good vibes. Think sunshine in a cloud, bestie! That giggle-inducing strain that makes you appreciate all the little things in life. Pro tip: Keep the tissues handy because you WILL happy cry! âď¸â¨
Where to Watch: Disney+ (worth every penny, no cap) - and honestly? The episodes are like 7 minutes each, so it's perfect for when you need a quick serotonin boost between your skincare routine steps! đââď¸
3. The Bear â Kitchen Chaos & Existential Vibes
đĽđ¨âđł
Grab your aprons and anxiety crystals, queens! The cultural reset that is The Bear has me SHOOK! Jeremy Allen White as Carmy? A whole MEAL and then some! đŽâđ¨
Like, the way this man makes cooking look like an emotional journey has me feeling things I didn't know a cooking show could make me feel! This culinary rollercoaster follows our fave stressed-but-blessed chef (with those ARMS, hello?) as he tries to save his family's sandwich shop in Chicago while dealing with generational trauma, toxic kitchen culture, and finding his own voice.
The tension? IMMACULATE. The drama? CHEF'S KISS.
The way Sydney serves girlboss energy while proving women can absolutely dominate in a male-dominated kitchen? We LIVE! And those food shots? They should come with a munchies warning because you WILL be ordering takeout at 2 AM! đ¨
The Vibe:Â It's giving that one friend who's always in crisis but makes it look aesthetic somehow? Like, they're having a breakdown but their eyeliner is still perfect? Pure chaotic excellence with a side of found family feels and enough tension to make you need a massage after! The kitchen scenes will have you GRIPPING your emotional support water bottle!
Best Paired With: That chill Indica that makes you feel like you're wrapped in a weighted blanket because baby, you'll need it! The show's anxiety-inducing perfection hits different when you're floating on cloud nine. Pro tip: Keep your comfort snacks CLOSE because between the food porn and the stress eating, you're gonna need them! đâ¨
Where to Watch:Â Hulu (Subscribe bestie, it's worth it - and while you're there, make sure to add their other shows to your watchlist because your girl's got TASTE!) đ
4. Wednesday â Goth Girl Energy Meets Mystery
đ¤đŽ
Summon your darkest vibes and prepare to be ENCHANTED! Our gothic queen Jenna Ortega didn't just eat - she devoured, digested, and left the plate spotless! đ
This show is serving everything from dark academia aesthetics (hello dream wardrobe inspo!) to supernatural mystery that'll have you SHOOK, plus that viral dance scene that literally broke TikTok and had us all practicing in our mirrors at 3 AM (don't lie, I know you did it too! đ)
The way she embodied Wednesday Addams? ICONIC. The way she made being emotionally unavailable look chic? GROUNDBREAKING.
And don't even get me started on Thing - giving more personality with just a hand than some people do with their whole body! đŠâ¨
Plus, can we talk about the way this show tackles friendship, family drama, and first love while keeping that deliciously dark edge? The murder mystery subplot had me GRIPPING my emotional support crystal! And the representation? We love to see it! The diversity in this show isn't just giving - it's SERVING, bestie! đ
The Vibe: Dark and moody but make it haute couture! It's giving "I studied abroad at a haunted boarding school and now I'm plotting revenge in Valentino" energy. Perfect for channeling your mysterious alter ego while wrapped in your blackest blanket, sipping that charcoal lemonade you bought to be aesthetic (we see you, queen! đ¤), and pretending you're a psychic outcast at a gothic academy.
Best Paired With: That hybrid that makes you feel like you could solve a murder mystery while looking absolutely snatched. You know, the one that has you writing poetry in your Notes app at midnight and convincing yourself you could totally rock bangs (spoiler: you can! đââď¸). Bonus points if you're wearing black lipstick and have your tarot cards spread out "just for decoration."
Where to Watch: Netflix (Your ex's account still works? We won't tell đ¤Ť) Pro tip: Make it a whole vibe by lighting those black candles you bought during your witchy phase and ordering that Halloween-themed Starbucks drink (yes, even in January - we don't judge here! đ§ââď¸â¨)
5. High Maintenance â The OG Stoner Show
đżđ´ââď¸
Step into the concrete jungle of dreams, queens! đ
This show is literally the blueprint that walked so our current faves could run! Following our fave delivery guy (aka "The Guy") through NYC's concrete jungle, each episode is serving up the most perfectly curated slice of human experience you've ever seen.
Like, imagine if people watching was an Olympic sport, and this show won ALL the gold medals! đ
Each episode introduces us to a whole new cast of characters living their best (or messiest) lives in the Big Apple, connected only by their need for that special green delivery!
The way this show captures the ESSENCE of NYC life - from the bougie Upper East Side girlies to the struggling artists in Bushwick - is absolutely sending me! And don't even get me started on the cinematography, bestie. It's giving indie film festival winner but make it mainstream-worthy! â¨
The Vibe: It's like people watching in Washington Square Park after your morning oat milk latte, but from the comfort of your cloud-soft couch! Pure NYC realness with a side of existential pondering that'll have you texting your besties paragraphs about the human condition at 3 AM! đ˝â¨
Best Paired With:Â That throwback strain that has you feeling nostalgic AF, making you text your group chat "remember when..." stories until sunrise! The kind that makes you feel like you could write a novel about that one time you made eye contact with a stranger on the subway! đąđ
Where to Watch:Â HBO Max (Worth every penny, bestie! Plus, you can finally stop using your ex's password and start your independent queen era! đ )
6. Black Mirror: Joan is Awful â Mind-Bending Madness
đąđł
Manifest your main character moment, because this episode is about to send you on a rollercoaster of emotions! đ˘
Annie Murphy (yes, our forever Alexis from Schitt's Creek, we stan an icon! đ) absolutely DEVOURS this role as Joan, a girlboss who discovers her life is being turned into a streaming show WITHOUT HER PERMISSION?!
Like, hello, nightmare fuel but make it aesthetic! The way this episode plays with reality had me texting my bestie at 3 AM like "ARE WE LIVING IN A SIMULATION?!" đą
And can we talk about how this is literally giving "your FYP knows you better than your therapist" energy?! The commentary on streaming services and AI? GROUNDBREAKING. The way it makes you paranoid about your phone listening to you (it totally is btw)? GENIUS. Plus, the fashion moments? The production value? The DRAMA? I'm literally ascending! đâ¨
The Vibe:Â Imagine if TikTok conspiracy theories had a baby with your existential crisis at 2 AM, but make it haute couture! It's giving "I deleted all my social media but still look aesthetic crying about it" realness! đ
Best Paired With: That premium thought-provoking Sativa that has you writing philosophical tweets in your drafts and questioning if we're all just living in a Black Mirror episode! Pro tip: Keep your emotional support water bottle CLOSE because your mind will be BLOWN! đ¤Żđ
Where to Watch:Â Netflix (Worth keeping just for this, bestie! Plus, the way this episode calls out streaming services while being ON a streaming service? Meta queen behavior! đ)
Final Thoughts: Make TV Time a Whole Vibe đĽđâ¨
OKAY QUEENS, gather 'round for the ultimate viewing party tea! đ
Life's way too precious to waste on mid content, and your bestie (that's me! đââď¸) has curated this list with the same care I put into my skincare routine - and we all know that's god tier! These shows aren't just entertainment, they're literally therapy without the copay, babes! Each one is carefully selected to transport you straight into main character energy (with or without your favorite green bestie đż).
Whether you're having your villain era moment, need a serotonin boost, or want your third eye BLOWN wide open, I've made sure there's something here that matches your crystal collection's energy! And remember queens, setting the right mood is EVERYTHING! Get your fairy lights twinkling, your crystal-infused water ready (hydration is self-care! đŚ), and your coziest blanket that makes you feel like you're being hugged by a cloud! đ
Pro tip: Create a whole aesthetic moment! Light those bougie candles you've been saving (yes, the ones from that TikTok shop!), put on your manifesting playlist, and arrange your snacks in that aesthetic way that makes them Instagram-worthy. Because if you're not turning your TV time into a whole self-care moment, bestie what are you even doing?! đ â¨
Spill ALL the tea in the comments, my gorgeous little content queens! đ What shows are living rent-free in your head? What's giving you serotonin levels higher than your standards? Drop those recommendations faster than you drop toxic friends, because your girl is ALWAYS ready to add more slay to her watchlist! Remember: sharing recommendations is basically community care at this point! Stay elevated, stay glowing, and keep serving main character energy! đŤ
P.S. Always keep the vibes immaculate and responsible, besties! Pro tip: Set up your snack station BEFORE you get cozy (trust your girl on this one). Your future self will literally be sending you thank you notes in your manifestation journal! And don't forget to charge your emotional support water bottle in the moonlight! đâ¨
đˇÂ  Signed, MJ
Comments