The Consequences of Not Believing in Myself

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Alright, let’s get into it—what am I really getting from not believing in myself? It’s such a simple question, but one that’s been rolling around in my mind lately. Like, if I’m being completely honest, self-doubt has been my go-to for way too long. And I get it, doubting ourselves can feel like we’re being humble, cautious, or even realistic, but what do I actually gain from that mindset?

Answer: not a damn thing.

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Here’s the thing about self-doubt: it’s sneaky. It’s not like this loud, in-your-face kind of problem. It’s subtle, it creeps in, tells me I’m not good enough, that I’m not ready yet, and that maybe I’ll get there “someday.” But honestly, it just keeps me stuck. When I think about all the times I’ve second-guessed myself or downplayed my abilities, I realize I’ve built these little invisible barriers, and they’re all in my head.

Why do I do it? Probably because it feels safer to doubt myself than to put myself out there and risk failure.

Because, let’s face it—if I don’t try, I can’t fail, right?

It’s comfortable. But here’s the kicker: it’s also completely paralyzing. I’m literally getting *nothing* from playing it small. I’m keeping myself in this cozy little box where everything is predictable and I don’t have to take any risks. Sure, it’s safe, but it’s also boring.

And let’s be real—I want more than that.

I’ve been thinking about how many opportunities I’ve passed up because I didn’t believe I could handle them. Whether it was a job, a relationship, or even something as simple as a creative project, I’ve been the one standing in my own way. And it’s wild when you really stop and think about it. All this time, I’ve been waiting for some external sign that I’m “ready,” when the reality is, I’m never going to feel completely ready for anything. That’s just life. You don’t wake up one day with all the confidence in the world, you just start doing the things that scare you and build it as you go.

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So, here’s the question that’s been on my mind lately:

What if I’m wrong? What if all the times I doubted myself, I was actually fully capable, but I just didn’t believe it?

That’s a pretty big pill to swallow, but it’s also kind of empowering. Because if I’ve been wrong about my own limitations, that means I can change the way I see myself. I can rewrite the story.

Self-doubt is this weird paradox, right? It’s like, it feels safer because it stops us from taking risks, but at the same time, it keeps us from growing. It’s like staying in your comfort zone and then wondering why nothing ever changes. I’ve been there, living in that space where it’s easier to expect the worst or not expect anything at all. But what if I flipped the script and started expecting more from myself? What if I believed I was actually capable of achieving the things I want?

Here’s where it gets tricky. Believing in myself isn’t about thinking I’m perfect or that I won’t mess up along the way. It’s about trusting that I’ll figure it out as I go. It’s about accepting that mistakes are part of the process and that they don’t define my worth. I’ve been learning that perfectionism and self-doubt are just two sides of the same coin, and both of them are keeping me from showing up fully.

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Let’s be real—I’m the only one who can change this narrative. I’m the one who has to decide that I’m worth believing in, flaws and all. And I think that’s the biggest takeaway here. Self-belief isn’t about waiting until you feel confident enough; it’s about choosing to believe in yourself, even when you’re scared or uncertain.

It’s about saying, “I’m worthy of this,” and going after it anyway.

At the end of the day, what do I get from not believing in myself? Absolutely nothing but missed opportunities, stunted growth, and a life that feels like it’s stuck in neutral. And honestly? I’m over it. I’m done with shrinking myself to fit into some version of me that’s outdated and small. I want to take up space, own my ambitions, and show up fully—even when it feels uncomfortable.

Growth isn’t always pretty, and it sure as hell isn’t comfortable. But staying in this cycle of self-doubt is way worse. So here’s to pushing past the doubt, taking risks, and trusting that I can handle whatever comes next. Because if I’m going to bet on anyone, it might as well be me.

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🌷  Signed, MJ